Well, it's been a week since I have been divorced and I have really taken advantage of the freedom. Not really, but I seriously have been enjoying spending time with friends and family and doing things I want to do, and doing things I was never really allowed to do.
The divorce went well I guess. Billy did show up for court, in which I seriously thought he wouldn't, but he did. He did not speak to me, and I really don't think he even looked at me but once. I'm not sure why, because I have done nothing to him but divorce him. He showed up to court without a lawyer and represented himself. However, the judge just asked him a few yes or no questions, in which he replied to as 'yes or no'. When I was asked questions, I replied with respect, as I was taught to respect my elders and authority figures. My witness was brought in to testify for me on the adultery charges. He told the judge everything he saw while he worked with Billy, and he told the judge everything he saw, when Billy brought her to the 'shed' in our backyard, when we were not at home.
My house caught on fire the of January and we had to live in my Mom's vacant condo. Billy did not like staying at the condo (so he claimed) and therefor he decided to go live in the shed here at the house. His shed was his man cave, with carpet, recliners, fish tanks, TV, satellite, coffee pot, just about anything an apartment would contain. It was however, the perfect time for him to spend with his little honey. So while we stayed at the condo, he had his little honey in his shed.
My witness being my next door neighbor and his former employee saw everything, therefor witnessed for me. When he told the judge everything he saw and everything he knew, Billy busted out laughing in some kind of evil demonic laugh. Afterwards the judge excused my witness and at that time granted me my divorce on grounds of adultery. My lawyer then asked the judge to grant me a restraining order due to the fact of his abusive ways..the judge granted me the restraining order in which Billy started laughing the evil demonic laugh again. Then, it was over. It might have lasted every bit of 20 minutes if that long. The judge wished me well with my new life. My lawyer said, it was probably one of the quickest divorce cases ever. LOL. Being that Billy and I had no real property to divide, and being the girls are of age and we did not have to fight for any custody, there was really nothing more to discuss except the adultery. I had taken 2 nerve pills before court, so I am not entirely sure, but I don't even think the judge asked Billy if he denied the allegations. He did ask him if he wanted to question the witness in which he said NO, and he did ask him if he had anything to say to the court, and he said "NO". So all in all it went really quick.
Afterwards, the girls, my Mom, her boyfriend, and I went out to lunch, then returned back to her condo, so she could give me a cake that one of her friends had made me for me saying "happy divorce day".
Saturday evening, my friends had a small cookout party for me, where we had hamburgers and hot dogs, and margaritas, and the night ended with me doing shots of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum. This was not something I normally do, but I did quiet a few shots to celebrate a new life. Of course I know how to restrain myself and stopped when I started doing some kind of weird twerking, and when the next shot of rum somehow went up my nostrils.
Monday, my friends had me over again to celebrate Labor Day. We left the alcohol alone, and ate BBQ sandwiches. We talked, we laughed, and we had a wonderful time. I felt comfortable, joyful, and content. Something I never really felt around others when I was with Billy.
It was later in the week when I realized how much these friends mean to me. How much they have done for me. Not only are we neighbors, not only are we friends, but these friends over the last few months have become my family.
I have had several people tell me that I look so much better since the separation. I have had others tell me that some people really look so sad and depressed and go through a sort of depression stage, but I look so happy and alive. The truth is...I went through that depression stage for about 2 weeks after the separation, but it was a depression of fear of the future, knowing I had made the right decision but yet afraid of what life had in store for me. Depressed because of all the years I had put up with his shit. But, I snapped out of the depression stage, and I began to focus on myself and my girls and a new life.
I made myself goals, and I strive to reach those goals.
Life after divorce, so far has been good, although its only been a week. I feel alive, I feel new, and I feel whole. I never looked back, I just kept moving forward and I will continue to move forward. Nothing much has really changed since the separation, except that I am legally divorced and my life is moving forward in a new direction. I'm taking chances, I'm making friends, I'm going places, I am doing things I never really did before. I am still afraid at times, afraid he is lurking around, afraid he may pop up out of nowhere when I am in the yard. He rides by the house several times a day on his Harley (he bought after we separated) and I'm not sure why he feels the need to ride past my house daily sometimes several times a day. I still fear him, but I will not be intimidated by him.
Some have asked me if I regret anything..NO. Some ask do I miss him..No. Some ask if I am lonely..NO. I was lonely when I was married. It was a deep, dark loneliness. I am not lonely anymore because I have friends, and I have a life now, because over the last 3 months, I have found happiness within myself. I can honestly say, I have found happiness!
I am no longer Kelly Sealy, I went back to my maiden name. I am now Kelly Martin.. I am a new me, I am...........Simply Kel.
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